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Acceptable Things Candidates Can Say Now Down To Four »

Posted by: ind06 4 months ago

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NEW YORK - After Sen. Barack Obama's comments last week about what he usually eats for dinner were criticized by Sen. Hillary Clinton as being offensive to both herself and the American voters, the number of acceptable phrases presidential candidates can now say are officially down to four.

Read Full Story at theonion.com

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Comments So Far: 25

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ind064 months ago

The bipartisan Citizens Committee For Some Freakin' Peace And Quiet Fer God's Sake is currently at work whittling the four down to three and expects to have all topics rendered non-discussable by mid-August.
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  tehranchik4 months ago
  
  Don't worry ind---they'll always be able to mis-speak.
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    ind064 months ago
    
    :)
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cowboygrandpa4 months ago

Well I'd like to say "these waffles are great."
They have stawberries on them. MMMMMMMMMMMM.
Waiting to see who was offended by that one. Probably the pancake makers of America. LOL
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  Lurch4 months ago
  
  Or SOCC, the Strawberry Opportunity Cost Coalition. They are financed by the same guys behind the Jelly-Smear-Boaters. Nasty I tell ya.
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  Beau78904 months ago
  
  Not only do the pancake makers take offense cowboygrandpa, but waffles are an affront to every U.S. citizen! Aren't Belgians known for their waffles--along with fine chocolates, high finance and child pornography?
  And with STRAWBERRIES yet, instead of good ol' American maple syrup that's made right here in the U.S. of A.?
  You elitist snob! You're clearly out of touch with the American public! ;-)
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  uncle-dave4 months ago
  
  We won't even talk about French Toast, will we?
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    ind064 months ago
    
    As a representative of The American Blueberry Farmer PAC I can only say that I am SHOCKED and DEEPLY SADDENED by your dismissal of the fine work of America's blueberry farmers! Blueberry farmers are real Americans and clearly you are living in an ivory tower and completely out of touch or you would know that!
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      uncle-dave4 months ago
      
      SIR!!! I will have you know that ABFP is clearly the LARGEST conglomerate of effete elitist's that the berry world has ever seen! While YOU SIR may have found your thrill on Bluberry Hill I, a representative of the HUCKLEBERRY PICKERS PAC, have long endured the ridicule and razzing by the Bourgeois Blueberry Plutocracy!!! The Huckleberry is the fruit of the working class SIR!! Not like your Blue Blooded Blueberry Bloviaters!!! It is YOU sir that seems to be out of touch with the REAL Americans!!! It is YOU sir that Rants from YOUR ivory tower proclaiming that Vaccinium corymbosum is the best berry, when we all know that the huckleberry is the fruit of the masses!
      Sincerely yours,
      H.Beauregard Boondoggle Da Turd
      From da office in da Bronx
      
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        ind064 months ago
        
        Hmph! More balderdash and boonswaggling from the Huckleberry contingent, when everyone KNOWS that the Huckleberry isn't even REALLY a berry! Science has proven the Huckle"berry" to be a genetically deformed nut! I like to call them "HUCKSTER"berries myself! Take your pretenders to the berry throne and farm them elsewhere, no TRUE American sits down at Thanksgiving for Hucksterberry pie!
        Hmph! And Hmph again!
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        uncle-dave4 months ago
        
        Sir!!! You leave me NO alternative but to throw down the fruit filled gauntlet and challenge you to a gentleman's duel.....lets say whipped cream pies at twenty paces?!
        Mr. Rinty will act as my double SIR! I am anxiously awaiting your reply!!!!!
        Hmph to you sirrr!!! And Hmph again!!! Drat!!!
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        ciera-marie4 months ago
        
        Okay now you all have done it! You have offended the Banana, Blueberry, and Pecan PAC!
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        uncle-dave4 months ago
        
        Bananas and pecans have no standing here.
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        ciera-marie4 months ago
        
        Uncle Dave they so do!
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        uncle-dave4 months ago
        
        If you so say!
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        Beau78904 months ago
        
        That's a shame, Uncle Dave.
        Bananas and pecans are in high standing where I am.
        As a member of both the Conglomerated Crop Corporations' Credit Committee and the Produce Pickers Promotion Program, we have reciprocal agreements with both the Belize Banana Business Bureau and the Pecan Producers' Pancake Project.
        And we've done work for the Mississippi Stippled Pickle Pickers' Pickled Pepper PAC, or as we like to call it, the MSPPPPPAC.
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        uncle-dave4 months ago
        
        Being a stickler for detail I would like to know if the state of Mississippi provides a stipend to the Mississippi Stippled Pickle Pickers' Pickled Pepper PAC. BTW is the Peruvian Pickled Prickly Pear PAC on board, Beau?
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        Beau78904 months ago
        
        We're pushing for reciprocation with the Peruvian Pickled Prickly Pear PAC.
        Unfortunately, The State of Mississippi has provocatively punished the Mississippi Stippled Pickle Pickers, predicting purposeful pullbacks of its periodic stipends to the Pickled Pepper PAC for perverting purity procedures during the penultimate pickling period by not packing stippled pickles properly in a perpendicular fashion.
        The MSPPPPPAC publishes a prospectus as a PDF on its web page providing proof positive of its impeccable purity procedures. the PDF stipulates provisions for particularly peculiar disparities in accepted packing permutations. They predict perusal of the purity procedures will reveal that the State of Mississippi is nitpicking, prejudicially penalizing the PAC.
        The Mississippi Stippled Pickle Pickers' Pickled Pepper PAC also presents its persnickity pecuniary principles as a PowerPoint presentation on the same web page as its purity procedures, for your inspection.
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        uncle-dave4 months ago
        
        "False berries like BLUEBERRY and cranberry, are epigynous, made from a part of the plant other than a single ovary."
        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berries
        Ha!!! Ha!!! Haaaaaa!!!!!
        
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        ind064 months ago
        
        Of course you refer to Wikipedia, which everyone KNOWS has a pronounced Huckleberry BIAS. That article isn't even science, just more of the pseudo-science the Huckleberry contingent likes to flaunt in order to further their goal of COMPLETE BERRY SUPREMACY! Well, sir, you may be bought and paid for by the Huckleberry PAC but the rest of us are free to breathe AMERICAN air and speak the TRUTH without resorting to SPIN!
        Yes, true BLUE American air!
        I pick up your gauntlet and accept your challenge!
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        uncle-dave4 months ago
        
        Gird up thy loins, and stand up......Take the girdle that is upon thy loins, and arise, and go to the ........EWWWWWW!!!!!! WHAT have you been eating?! Gasp...cough cough ...sniffle sniffle......
        ... I guess that's another good reason NOT to eat Bluberries....EWWWWWW!!!!!! You can keep the glove....ARGHHH!
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2sidestoeverything4 months ago

I vote for total silence and only hand jesters from now until November.
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ranchhandComment removed: User banned.
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itsme24 months ago

Well it will be nice to not have to hear them as much!
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greenmac4 months ago

I guess if Hilary became president and went to England she should avoid "spotted dick" ...a very popular English pudding.
Though being married to Bill she probably has already had this.
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