New Wearable Feedbags Let Americans Eat More, Move Less »
Posted By ind06 4 months, 1 week ago in HumorTHE ONION NEWS NETWORK - Fast food giant, Yum! Brandz believes its new feedbags will make it easier for Americans to constantly gorge themselves on fat laden swill.
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ind064 months, 1 week ago
The problem with this is they still haven't eliminated chewing and swallowing from the equation. Such a wasted opportunity!
I've been saying this for years but no one will listen. They should just have trained storks do the eating, then stick their beaks down a customer's throat and vomit the meal directly into the person's stomach. Think of all the time that would save!
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Spadecaller4 months, 1 week ago
:~D
Hysterically funny and sadly there's some truth to those that eat that crap on the run. "Eat on the run" would make a great Kaopectate commercial.
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uncle-dave4 months, 1 week ago
I don't know....it sounds pretty efficient and all but you still have to strap on the feed bag and actively elevate the bag so that you can eat. It just sounds like an awful lot of work!
Couldn't they come up with an osmosis system where somebody just pours the food on you, and you absorb the nutrients that way? Maybe they could do it when I'm taking my nap....I'm a very busy man.
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itsme24 months, 1 week ago
Now they need to find a way to change the channel by mind control!
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hefaa14 months, 1 week ago
The Simpsons, dinner in front of the TV:
Homer: We need one long tray or hollow receptacle of some sort so it would be easier to transfer and eat our food.
Simpson Kids: Yay!!! We agree.
Marge: There is such a thing, it's called a trough. And were not getting a trough.
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y_soitenly4 months, 1 week ago
This would be a blessing in disguise for those people that have beards and mustaches. Beards only allow for the saving of food crumbs and the occasional meatball.
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