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Special Ops Veteran Slips Back Into Family Undetected »

Posted by: ind06 2 months ago

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"This truck exploded across the street, and when we looked back, Dad was sitting next to me, already halfway through his chicken-fried steak," said son Michael, adding that the pyrotechnic diversionary tactic was "classic Dad."

Read Full Story at theonion.com

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ind062 months ago

In related news: The veteran's father, known only as "AKA Grandpa" has once again vanished from the local nursing home, after the explosion of the cafeteria. Several of the younger members of the nursing staff have gone missing as well. Police are "pretty darn sure" the two incidents are connected.
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icono12 months ago

Well my cousin, Willie 'The redneck hammer of Thor' Gunderhoff from WVa. (ex CIA, KGB, DEA, Christian Conservative, and Moonshiner/'natural herb' entrepreneur), does this every time I get a new case of Bud with the appropriate chasers(Rum, Vodka, Whiskey, Gin) and start grilling brats, hamburgers, steaks and chicken legs.
As soon as there is a little 'grill fire' and the smoke gets heavy there he is, !POOF!; outta thin air, drinking a Bud and a chaser and wanting to know what time 'we' eat.
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  uncle-dave2 months ago
  
  I think I know Willie!
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    icono12 months ago
    
    That you may.
    The guy loves 1. free food 2. free booze 3. an showing up out of nowhere anytime close to breakfast, lunch, supper time, and any outdoor cooking activities.
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      foksipayne2 months ago
      
      are you my cousin?
      rotf
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uncle-dave2 months ago

I don't know about the raccoon in his shed but there is a ground hog under my shed that could use some special ops treatment.
Anybody in the mood for some chicken-fried ground hog?
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  icono12 months ago
  
  Well I'll tell cousin Willie about your situation an he may go for it. But I think he is more into the chasing bunnies down at the Pink Puzzy Cat now a days.
  More funner huntin' he says.
  It's a retirement perk.
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    ind062 months ago
    
    And with his semi-automatic shotgun, they're easy pickin's!
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ranchhandComment removed: User banned.3 Replies
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  icono12 months ago
  
  Well it coulda been cousin Willie with his invisible friend ElCid DeSade. They have been together a long time and have the most interesting one way conversations about the damndest things; being dropped on their heads at birth and what Willie's dad's real name was. Why mom likes him, Willie, better than ElCid DeSade...& etc.
  Pickled eggs.. oh no... that is what I'm smellin. It figures. It is about snack time. Snack time equals beer & chips then chips & beer along with a dessert servin of beer-chips and some top of the line Miller Lite beer(gotta watch the 'tool shed' expansion line. The city might hit me for extra property taxes if I don't.)
  Well gotta go.
  Have to save my last 6-pack from a lurkin Willie and friend.
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    ind062 months ago
    
    Pickled eggs... Tried one of those once and I can't imagine why anyone would eat one of those who actually knew what they were in for.
    The experience was like eating someone else's vomit.
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    - ranchhandComment removed: User banned.
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2sidestoeverything2 months ago

indy, icono1, uncle Dave, and ranchhand you guys crack me up! LMAO!!!
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  uncle-dave2 months ago
  
  :-)
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  ind062 months ago
  
  (((2sides)))
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