Old Joke Keeps Getting Funnier; Scientists Baffled »
Posted by: ind06 1 month, 1 week agoHumorologists at The University Of Chicago, where fun goes to die, are currently wrestling with what appears to be an old joke that continues to get funnier with each and every telling.
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ind061 month, 1 week ago
A slight correction. Humor doesn't go to the University of Chicago to die. It goes to Professor Caroline Edie's English History class at the nearby University of Illinois at Chicago.
And not just humor dies there, all sense of academic decorum, as well as civil behavior and any semblance of humanity also give up the ghost in Professor Edie's presence.
Scientists have attempted to gauge how long it has been since the professor has given so much as a second's thought to the feelings of those around her, or has engaged in even a moment of self-reflection on her egotistical behavior to no avail.
Professor Jan Professerson, head of inhuman behavioral studies stated, "Even our most highly calibrated instruments are simply not up to the task of measuring such a massive black hole of anti-humanity."
Professerson wiped tears from her eyes and continued, "I'd apply for a grant but I'm afraid the Pentagon would use Professor Edie as a weapon of mass desolation."
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y_soitenly1 month, 1 week ago
Old Joke... lol
A recent study revealed that 85% of all Japanese men have cataracts.
The rest drive Rincons and Chevrorays.
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y_soitenly1 month, 1 week ago
Old Joke... lol
A guy walks into a bar in Arkansas and orders a white wine. Everybody sitting around the bar looks up, expecting to see some pitiful Yankee queer.
The bartender looks up and says, "You ain't from around here, are ya? Where ya from, boy?"
The guy says, "I'm from Iowa."
The bartender asks, "What the heck you do in Iowa?"
The guy responds, "I'm a taxidermist."
The bartender asks, "A taxidermist? Now just what the heck is a taxidermist?"
The guy says nervously, "I mount animals."
The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar, "It's okay boys, he's one of us!"
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y_soitenly1 month, 1 week ago
another Old Joke... lol
A man walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch. As the bartender pours the drink, he remarks, "That's quite a heavy drink. What's wrong?"
After quickly downing his drink, the man replies, "I found my wife in bed with my best friend."
"Wow," says the barkeep. "What'd you do?"
"I walked over to my wife," the man replies, "looked her straight in the eye, and told her to pack her stuff and get the hell out."
"That makes sense," says the bartender. "And what about your best friend?"
"I walked over, looked him right in the eye, and yelled, 'Bad dog!'"
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hefaa11 month, 1 week ago
Good visual joke:
Q: What do sorority girls put behind their ears to attract men.
A: Their ankles.
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TonyByron1 month, 1 week ago
Don't read this if you're easily offended.
Hope this doesn't get me kicked off here...
A guy walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. The bartender sets him up and watches as the guy starts tossing down the shots. After the fifth shot the bartender asks "What's the occasion?" The guy says "I just had my first BJ." The bartender grins and says " Oh, celebrating huh?" The guy says "No, trying to get the taste out of my mouth."
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Bacalao1 month, 1 week ago
On that note....
A woman walks into a bar and orders two shots of tequila.
she take the first one "this is for the glory"
she takes the second one " this is for the shame."
she doe this three, four, five more times
Finally curiosity gets to the bartender and he ask "Hey lady I like how you drink your tequila, but, whats up with all this glory and shame stuff
she says " Earlier today I was scrubbing my floor in the nude and my Great Dane jumps on me.
he "aww, lady thats a shame".
she No that was the glory the shame was when we locked up and he dragged me into the front yard.
bah doom bah.
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y_soitenly1 month, 1 week ago
TonyByron,
Re: "A guy walks into a bar and orders 12 shots"
That's a classic joke.
When I heard that years ago, it was with a different version.
It went like this...
A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him 12 shots of scotch and to line them up on the bar.
The bartender pours all 12 shots and the man starts downing them, one by one.
The bartender looks at the man curiously and says, "What's the occasion?"
The man says, "Bartender, I'm here to celebrate. I just had my very first BJ!"
The bartender says, "Oh!, Wow, that's fantastic!... Here, Let me buy you a shot."
The guy says, "No thanks!" "If 12 shots doesn't get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will!"
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mcgrievysr1 month, 1 week ago
Why just the other day I read from one of ind06's submissions that 95% of all cases of self abuse goes unreported. Interesting. Brings to mind the old one about the fact that 95% of all males commit self abuse in the shower, while the other 5% hum a song. You know what song they hum? Didn't think so. :-)
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